For some reason, my mind is at torment. I can’t figure out why. Is it because 2 people that we’re my so called best friends are living in delusion, or is it because there’s still a hole from how I lost one of them. Every night I have nightmares and see things out of the corner of my eye. My dreams tell me you’re there and I go for your help but there’s a wall, or a locked door. I’ve tried to open the door by trying to get in contact with you but it will never happen. You’re sick and I’m worried. Everyday that note plays over and over in my head. The things you said and how much they hurt. I was the only one ever always there. Always. I told everyone you’re different there’s something wrong with you, and guess what… I was right, again. But you don’t care, you went crazy and you can’t swallow your pride and admit that you’re mentally unstable now. It’s a medical fact. You have proof. I guess writing this I figured out the issue. It will always bother me, for my whole life it will bother me because for a long time you were my only family. I drive by somewhere i felt safe and at home and i see a dark cloud, literally see a cloud of sadness around. I just need to realize you’re dead. It will be easier to think that you died and the house is abandoned, the party has stopped, the family is gone.